I’ll admit that I’m a skeptic when it comes to astrology, manifestation, and Tiktok trends like “Lucky Girl Syndrome.” However, as a social work graduate, I’m not completely ignorant to the fact that there is an entire branch of psychology dedicated to the study of positive thinking, nor its therapeutic benefits in enhancing quality of life.
On a phone call with my Tita, we recently discussed the topic of gratitude, and instead of the usual saying – a glass half full or half empty – she used the very sweet (pun-intended) metaphor of whether people see “the donut or the hole” to describe the importance of gratitude in our lives.
And that really sums it up quite a bit better than the glass half full thing, doesn’t it?
Just as a donut is seen as whole even with its hole, gratitude enriches our lives to the point that our lives are not simply “half full,” but already complete. And because we see each day in its entirety, and we can savor each crumb and morsel, finding the sweetness in every moment.
In a life without gratitude, everything is bleak. Maybe we suffer a void in our hearts, a plague of not-enoughness.
But to truly be filled with gratitude for your life, is to also understand the suffering in the world.
Happiness, free of the burden of worrying about others, is complacency. Apathy. Not gratitude.
In Dostoyevsky’s The Brothers Karamazov[1], the work that inspired Le Guin’s The Ones Who Walk Away from Omelas, one of the titular characters – Ivan – poses this question to his brother:
Imagine that you are creating a fabric of human destiny with the object of making men happy in the end, giving them peace and rest at last, but that it was essential and inevitable to torture to death only one tiny creature- that baby beating its breast with its fist, for instance- and to found that edifice on its unavenged tears, would you consent to be the architect on those conditions? Tell me, and tell the truth.
And in many ways, this is already the world we live in, except it’s so much more than one little girl.
All over the planet, there is violence. War. Genocide. Oppression. Exploitation. Suffering.
And it’s embarrassing, sometimes, to reflect on what a good life I have.
That I’m able to sit here, writing about f*cking gratitude, while Palestinians[2] are being killed.
While Uyghur women[3] endure genital mutilation and forced sterilization.
While children in Africa[4] mine for materials for the latest iPhone.
But gratitude isn’t just about surface level happiness and enjoyment of one’s life.
It’s about recognizing not only our privilege, but our opportunities, to make the world a better place.
Whether it’s bringing joy and song into the world, boldly protesting for sustainability and climate action, or caring for even just one dying person in their most vulnerable moments – service to others is what gives us purpose.
And doing something of meaning and purpose is what fuels fulfillment. Joy. And brings us back to gratitude, all over again.
And gratitude for our privilege doesn’t need to be a shameful thing. But I do think that true gratitude should involve a bit of soul searching and rage. Rage that our gratitude isn’t everyone’s gratitude. Because righteous rage is, in some ways, the other face of gratitude.
In other words, I think the world needs a little rage. (well, actually, a LOT of rage).
Because while my complaints may be about limited options for dairy free food, in other places, other people may be suffering starvation – real hunger – that any food, dairy free or not, would satisfy.
And that brings me back to the point of the donut, and why it is such a perfect metaphor here:
If you see a donut in its entirety, that means you still see the hole.
Just as you enjoy its sweetness, you must simultaneously understand what is missing – all that’s at stake – as you enjoy the donut.
And it is precisely in chewing on injustice and all the issues of the world that our gratitude gains depth and brings us closer to our sense of purpose, and that which is the best of what makes us human.
4 Works Cited
1. Dostoyevsky, F. (1880). The Brothers Karamazov. Open source
2. Gaza Casualties. (2026). . Open source
3. Rahman, K. (2025). ‘Treated Like an Animal’: How China Is Preventing Uyghur Muslim Women From Giving Birth. Open source
4. Freedom United. (2025). . Open source
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