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relationship stigma, embarrassing boyfriends, and yet – an ode to my partner
Around a year ago, Vogue came out with an article called “Is Having a Boyfriend Embarrassing Now?” written by Chanté Joseph. The same year, The New York Times released “The…
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my grandfather thinks i am not the kind of woman who would make a good wife.
I can tell. It’s in the way he laughs, then says, “Are you sure [your fiance] knows what he’s getting into?” It’s in the way he tells people I’m bossy.…
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self-sabotage, narcissism, and relationships
Not everyone in my family likes to admit it. It feels a bit like a ghost, sometimes. Something untouchable. But those of us who have experienced it agree: my grandpa…
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science is not apolitical.
And I don’t just mean in the bumper sticker and yard sign sense. I recently watched a Tiktok by a comedian who joked that the world doesn’t need more people…
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love was never meant to be explosive
At one point in time, another term for dating someone was called “going steady.” Now though, if I ever talk about when or how I knew that my partner was…
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the art of simplicity
Japanese culture has a word for it – ma. According to Deeper Japan, ma is described as “a pause in time, an interval, or emptiness in space,” rooted in Zen…
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do you ever think about death?
Lately, I’ve been thinking a lot about death. Morbid, I know. It’s one of those things that’s inevitable, and yet, seemingly so taboo to talk about. And yet, I wonder…
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the hardest (and best) part of loving someone
There’s a lot of discourse online about pathologizing people. Calling people narcissists, toxic, and cancelling them, then recommending going NC (no contact) with them. Call me crazy, but I think…
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our bodies are ephemeral (and the one rule i have for myself before getting a tattoo)
Every day, people make millions off of what the Nagoskis(Nagoski, 2019) have dubbed “the Bikini Industrial Complex.” It’s the idea that our bodies’ worth is determined by its attractiveness. It’s…
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the things that make us human are not real
I find that some people see enjoying different types of fiction as embarrassing. And I think there’s definitely a slightly gendered/misogynistic and ageist aspect to that too, but it’s weird,…
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the donut, the hole, rage, and gratitude
I’ll admit that I’m a skeptic when it comes to astrology, manifestation, and Tiktok trends like “Lucky Girl Syndrome.” However, as a social work graduate, I’m not completely ignorant to…
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why do i feel like i need to buy back my culture?
What is culture? Is it values, beliefs, a way of being – something internal and intangible and intrinsic? Or is it literature? Learned movement? The things your mom bought to…
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grieving your past, choosing your life, and becoming real
As I’m writing this, I am staring at the body of my grandfather as he naps in bed. It is approximately 3:50 PM. He’s recently been telling me that he…
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next stop? who knows
Today, I’m 23, and I wonder when I’ll really grow up. After a long conversation with my Tito about life paths and direction, the idea of what to do with…
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i’m quitting my job to take care of my grandfather in the philippines.
Oof, you have no idea how scary it is to say that out loud. Externally, I’m trying to stay calm. Honestly, I am genuinely really looking forward to this new…
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connecting over cheese & other things that make life worth living
As you may know, I have been struggling with a dairy allergy over the past few months. For someone who loves cheese and chicken alfredo as much as I do,…
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lessons from the first half of 2026
Right now, we’re in July, which means we’re halfway through the current calendar year. A few highlights from my personal life: However, some of the lessons from the past year…