Some people don’t want to choose.
They think that taking any action that doesnt 100% align with their ethics is unneccessary, maybe even immoral.
But from a critical and progressive standpoint, I think that taking any action is a good thing.
Choosing the lesser of two evils means acknowledging that they are such, and it points us a little further in the right direction.
I also think that if you are going to complain about the government… participating in you own civic duty gives you the license to do so.*
But, when it comes down two it, it truly is horrible that we must choose between the lesser of two evils.
*At least moreso than people who do have the privilege of voting and intentionally choose not to do so; I fully acknowledge that many people cannot vote for various reasons that are beyond their control.
A few months ago, my godsister asked me, “Which do you think is worse? The old creepy guys who fetishize Asian girls, or the young ones who watch way too much anime?”
It’s interesting.
Truthfully, I have much more experience with the former, as someone who went to high school and waitressed in the late 2010s and was somehow bullied for watching anime as an Asian person.
Yet, in just a decade, somehow, watching anime has become cool.
It flummoxes me and amuses me in equal measure.
Sometimes, I think, that at the outset, the creepy old guys are worse. I remember the days of their shameless questioning and groping, the guessing at my heritage, the comments about me reminding me of an ex-wife. It’s comments like those that had me biting back my tongue to keep from saying that, “Now I know why she’s your ex…”
Yet, I think that the younger guys can far more dangerous in the long run.
Often, they don’t have a lot of experience with actual humans. Their standards are genuinely set by fiction.
That’s totally cool and not at all frightening.
I once dated a guy who watched a lot of violent p*rn.
Of course, I didn’t know it at the time.
The tip off should have been learning that he was in the military and that I was the first girl he had ever dated.
Anyways.
It made me understand that choosing the lesser of two evils is a nuanced thing, yeah?
I thought that between loneliness and dating, one would be more comfortable than the other.
As an only child, I think it’s kind of natural to crave close relationships with others your age, whether that’s a best friend or a significant other.
But I was wrong.
At the time, I had really low self-esteem, and I guess it’s true what they say – you accept the love you think you deserve.
I didn’t have high expectations.
And the guy I dated was, in hindsight, kind of terrifying.
I’ve always been a wimp about horror and gore, too.
Sabrina Carpenter sings “You don’t have to lie to girls // If they like you they’ll just lie to themselves,” in her song “Lie to Girls,” and I think that was a perfect summary of what I did.
Hell, I’m not sure I even ever really actually liked him.
Maybe I just liked the idea of having a someone.
Which sucks, because that’s all I was to him, and I hated feeling like that was all I was.
But he treated me like Garbage and it’s clear he learned to do so from the kind of media he consumed.
He made me watch TV with him once and I couldn’t even bear to watch the screen.
I think, coupled with his own internalized racism, that is why we were a total Dumpster Fire of a situationship.
I just wish I had listened to my gut when he ran late to our first date.
I love being a misandrist.
#sorrynotsorry
This isn’t really a story of choosing between the lesser of two evils, though.
It’s a story about how as long as boys* are boys, and people remain male-centered, and the patriarchy exists, evil will be the only choice we think we have.
*because they are boys, not men. And boys aren’t innocent, not really. It really does start that early, and it’s our job, as a society, to change this culture. Excusing boys’ behavior instead of addressing it is a failure that reflects badly on all of us.
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