Last September, Tiktoker Madeline (@say_quis) said something that went so viral that it was later dubbed “Hmart Gate.”
As a Wasian herself, she talked about the experience of side-eyeing white people when they come into Asian spaces, such as Asian grocery stores.
And, to be completely honest, I get it.
I get it so much.
Because I’ve been the Asian girl getting my groceries on a random Friday while white people have stood around and gawked at me and the store like I’m part of a f*cking zoo exhibit. Like they’re at Epcot, going “around the world.”
And look, I don’t think that these spaces should be gatekept. I bring my white fiance with me to Asian grocery stores, and I’ve even sent him to them alone to pick things up for me when I’m too busy (or can’t be bothered) to go myself. For the record though, I wouldn’t bring him (and wouldn’t have dated him) if he acted like this.
However, I do think that there needs to be etiquette.
Pointing, staring, gawking, and making faces at the sights and smells should be part of the common decency you extend to others when you’re in a space that is not for you.
And if I choose to side-eye you from across the aisle, it’s nothing personal.
It’s just…
you took ube and played up it’s exotic-ness and spookiness during Filipino History Month.
you colonized my people for f*cking centuries.
I have a right to my rage.
It’s like when I hear about middle class or upper-middle class white people relating to the heroines of dystopian novels and other media that is literally a metaphor for the experiences of BIPOC in the US.
That play isn’t f*cking about you.
And honestly, if it teaches you to have a shred of empathy for people you usually Other, then I’m all for it, okay?
Don’t jump down my throat to say that now I’m gatekeeping literature too, especially since so much dystopian fiction is literally written by white people.
But…
if you are on the receiving end of my side-eye, just know that I sure hope you are aware of exactly whose experience you’re claiming to understand.
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